8 Ways to be the Life of the Party

I’m not talking lampshade on your head, doing the moonwalk while singing “Party in the USA” in your best Miley Cyrus voice kind of life, but I will not stop you if this is the kind of life you want to bring to a party.

What I am referring to is the kind of soul who breathes life into a room because of their spirit of generosity, kindness, willingness to engage others in conversation, their bright outlook, thoughtful nature, and expression of selflessness.

Anyone can draw attention to themselves. But not everyone can attend a party and cause those they’ve interacted with to feel uplifted—to feel more vibrant and alive. It’s this kind of life I’m talking about.

And here are 8 ways to bring it:

Bring a thoughtful gift (for the host or hostess)

I remember when we first moved into our house a new friend brought me spices. You might be thinking what’s a stressed out newcomer going to do with spices in a house crammed with brown boxes (aka best toy in the world for toddlers). But that’s just it. Spices would have been the last thing I would have gone digging for. I know it wasn’t a party, but that friend brought a little life to me the day she gave me spices.

Pass along compliments

If a friend has shared something kind about another mutual friend take the time to pass along the kind word.

Ask questions

Demonstrate interest in others. There is no better way to get out of a pity party for yourself than to adjust your focus and become invested in others. And don’t pick favorites. Be open to talking with any and everyone. Great conversations might be waiting with those you least expect.

Introduce two friends who share a common bond

This is truly one of my favorite things to do. It’s so fun to watch a friendship develop in this scenario.

Offer to help

With the dishes. Passing out food. Collecting coats. Most hostesses are stress cases. An excellent way to bring life to a party is through helping when it is least expected. Trust me, it’s remembered.

Smile (and heck, laugh at yourself if you spill something on your dress or trip as you enter a home)

Woo hoo, you’re real. You’re likable. And smiles go a long way when it comes to stirring a room to life.

Respect party hours

Don’t show up too early or leave when your hostess has yawned (without covering her mouth) four times in a row, let you know it’s past her bedtime, and has slipped into her fuzzy Velveteen Rabbit slippers (do they make those? If so, I want them). One of the above should be enough of a clue.

Take the time to absorb

Take in your surroundings. Instigate conversations worth remembering. And register what others are saying to the point where you can refer to topics spoken about previously. Establish connections in conversation and with people.

Has anyone ever brought life to one of your parties by notably doing one of the above? Can you think of other ways to be the “life” of a party?

*photo by stockXCHNG

What I Learned from The Wonder Years

I’ve already officially put it out there. You know, that I watched a herculean amount of TV as a kid. (Always putting a positive spin on things, aren’t I?) So, what of it? I’m now looking back to figure out if anything good came of all those hours my eyes stayed glued to the TV.

And after a spell, drifting in and out of reverie I do believe I did learn a thing or two.

Remember Kevin Arnold from The Wonder Years? I do. Not only do I remember him, I was born with the same reflective gene he apparently had. He felt the need to revisit certain scenes of his life and evaluate their lasting impact. Uh, sound like anyone you know?

Seriously though, it was during this show when I breathed my first sigh of relief. The message getting through: I’m not the only one who treks down memory lane in hopes to glean something of value.

Another takeaway: You can come from the same two parents but be remarkably different. Karen, the hippie. Wayne, the older bully brother butthead. And Kevin, the over thinker. Boy, did I relate to Kevin.

In our family we had our own breakfast club. If my three sisters and I had to slap labels on, we’d have been the brain, the rebel, the athlete, and the comedian (yes, I’m the baby and yes, my family found me quite funny…good thing someone did). Another sigh of relief. Message received: I’m not the only one with family members starkly different than me.

One particular episode of The Wonder Years conjures up a powerful lesson. Kevin’s neighbor is killed in the war (if memory serves, I believe Winnie’s older brother is the one who dies). His death shakes up the neighborhood, bringing the reality of war from their black and white TVs into their personal lives. Message communicated: Neighbors matter. (More on this at a later time. We’ve been going through our own share of neighborhood upheaval lately.)

Finally, The Wonder Years taught me not to give up. Hey, it happened for Kevin & Winnie, didn’t it?


Remember this show? Did you watch it? Why do you think it became so well-liked?

*All “I”s on a dear friend on my FB writer page today!

Moving Thoughts Friday

Every Friday I’m going to ask a question. The questions I choose might be ambiguous on purpose. The goal is to have you answer the question according to your beliefs, where you’re at in life or a circumstance that might have recently impacted you. The only thing I ask is that you provide an explanation for why you answered the way you did.

It’s my hope to understand you better through this and also to gain a greater understanding of humanity and how people make decisions.

A bestselling author wants to write your life story. Their publisher is on board. They both ask your opinion about what would make the best cover. What say you? Cover your life.

*photos by Stock.XCHNG (except the one of the 3 girls)

Your Black Moment: When Everything Falls Apart by Gina Conroy

As I continue on this journey of faith and publication it becomes more and more apparent that I’m the protagonist in my own story, and God is the author, moving me along my story arc as I race toward my happy ending.

While there is comfort in knowing that God is the ultimate author, and my story is safe in his hands, there is also fear.

I’m a writer. I know what authors do to their protagonists to get them to the end so they can be the person they were created to be. So they can ultimately reject the lies they’ve been believing about themselves, and embrace the essence of who they truly are.

And walk in truth.

The protagonist must be taken on a soul-searching, gut-wrenching journey. A journey that tears them wide open, where everything in their life falls apart to bring them to their black moment where they cry “Lord, you’re the only hope for this heart.”

I've been there before and I probably will be there again.

I've struggled with figuring out where I fit in this writing world, where God wants me to be. Trying hard not to listen to the lies blaring in my ears that tell me I can’t do this. That it’s too hard. That I’m a nobody. That I will never be who I dream to be, and maybe, just maybe, this is all that God has for me, and I should be content.

Yet, deep inside there’s always a pull, a longing to embrace the essence of who I know I am, who God created me to be, but not sure if I have the strength to go on.
I’ve experienced what it feels like to be lost, wandering around in my own story arc. Have I reached my black moment in my writing life? Have I surrendered all? Will there be a happily ever after?

I don’t know, but what I do know is that when things fall apart in my writing life, God's voice comes through loud and clear.

I remember the day last summer I felt everything was falling apart in my writing life and God's message, through a song, was clear.

“When everything falls apart
Your arms hold me together
When everything falls apart
You’re the only hope for this heart
When everything falls apart
And my strength is gone
I find you mighty and strong
You keep holding on
You keep holding on.”

Where are you in your writing journey? In your life's story? Will you let go and let God hold things together for you?

Trust me, it's much easier and a whole lot more freeing than trying to hold on yourself!

Gina Conroy used to think she knew where her life was headed; now she's leaning on the Lord to show her the way. She is the founder of Writer...Interrupted where she mentors busy writers and tries to keep things in perspective, knowing God's timing is perfect, even if she doesn't agree with it! ;) She is represented by Chip MacGregor of MacGregor Literary, and her first novella, Buried Deception, in the Cherry Blossom Capers Collection, releases from Barbour Publishing in January 2012. On her blog Defying Gravity and twitter she chronicles her triumphs and trials as she pursues her dreams while encouraging her family and others to chase after their own passions. Gina loves to connect with readers, and when she isn’t writing, teaching, or driving kids around, you can find her on Facebook and Twitter.

My Novella: Buried Deception
Mount Vernon archaeology intern and widow Samantha Steele wants to provide for her children without assistance from anyone. Security guard and ex-cop Nick Porter is haunted by his past and keeps his heart guarded. But when they discover an artifact at Mount Vernon is a fake, Nick and Samantha need to work together, set aside their stubbornness, and rely on each other or the results could be deadly. Will Samantha relinquish her control to a man she hardly knows? Can Nick learn to trust again? And will they both allow God to excavate their hearts so they can find new love?

*I love having Gina guest post here today. We go way back. She’s a valued friend and it’s thrilling to cheer her on in this writing journey.

Getting Straight to the Heart of It

From a young age we’re told to follow it. It’s the lonely hunter. We’re not supposed to go breaking it.

And hopefully, you’ve heard the most valuable advice of all: We need to “guard it, for it is the wellspring of life.”

So, what’s a woman to do about the squishy organ that for some odd reason reminds me of a bagpipe?

“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.” ― C.S. Lewis

“The heart was made to be broken.” ― Oscar Wilde

“If I can stop one heart from breaking, I shall not live in vain.” ― Emily Dickinson

“I believe a strong woman may be stronger than a man, particularly if she happens to have love in her heart. I guess a loving woman is indestructible.” ― John Steinbeck, East of Eden:

Hear that, women? Indestructible. I thought I’d give you six more tips to help you keep your heart indestructible.

6 tips to help heart health:
Fish. Eat it.
Take the stairs.
Learn your fats & oils. (Limit saturated fats, trans fat & salt from your diet). This article explains more.
Manage stress (breathe)
Quit Smoking
Drink tea & laugh (read this educational article for more).

Let’s get out there and make music with our bagpipe organs. After all, soon it will be…well, spring.

“For here’s what I’m going to do…I’ll pour water over you and scrub you clean. I’ll give you a new heart, put a new spirit in you. I’ll remove the stone heart from your body and replace it with a heart that’s God-willed, not self-willed. I’ll put my Spirit in you and make it possible for you to do what I tell you and live by my commands.” ~ Ezekiel 36:25-27 (Message)

*photo by flickr
**Happy Valentine’s Day!

***All "I"s on a dear soul on my FB writer page in a bit.

Moving Thoughts Friday

Every Friday I’m going to ask a question. The questions I choose might be ambiguous on purpose. The goal is to have you answer the question according to your beliefs, where you’re at in life or a circumstance that might have recently impacted you. The only thing I ask is that you provide an explanation for why you answered the way you did.

It’s my hope to understand you better through this and also to gain a greater understanding of humanity and how people make decisions.






Play it safe or Walk on the wild side?

*photos by flickr
**Now I’ve gone & done it. As of last night, I’m on Google+. Feel free to throw a circle around me.

8 Writing No-Brainers that Require Brain Power

Waiting

You write, you wait. Wait for characters to talk, for an agent, for a house to call home, for release day, for reviews…
The publishing industry is a fabulous arena for learning to accrue patience.

“My point is that you do not need me or anyone else around to bring this new kind of light in your life. It is simply waiting out there for you to grasp it, and all you have to do is reach for it.” ― Jon Krakauer, Into the Wild

Beginning & Ending Well

Seems simple enough, right? But establishing a compelling hook from the start and memorable resolve at the end of a novel can be a lot trickier than it sounds.

“Almost a mathematical formula: Stability + Inciting Incident = Instability + Struggle to Resolve Instability = New Stability. Very succinctly, a story is a movement from stability to instability to a new stability.” – Les Edgerton, Hooked

“Actually, all good story endings and resolutions should involve both an element of win and an element of loss.” – Les Edgerton, Hooked

Tightening Your Core

The closer you get to the root of who you are the more equipped you are to flesh out relatable characters, engaging in a must-read story.

“Your problem is how you are going to spend this one and precious life you have been issued. Whether you're going to spend it trying to look good and creating the illusion that you have power over circumstances, or whether you are going to taste it, enjoy it and find out the truth about who you are.” ― Anne Lamott

Creating Strong Characters

Another no-brainer. A collective “Duh” resounds. But if you’ve written your share of novels as I have, you begin to feel the pulse of your characters. The folks in your novel come to life, and in this process, the in your face approach they use can wreak havoc on your determination to exude a confident character as opposed to an arrogant one. Show ‘em who’s boss. Characters, people as they are (see quote below), must remain likeable.

“When writing a novel a writer should create living people; people not characters. A character is a caricature. If a writer can make people live there may be no great characters in his book, but it is possible that his book will remain as a whole; as an entity; as a novel.” – Ernest Hemingway

Checking Your Ego at the Door

Do it for the sake of your novel, so your own judgments don’t enmesh too greatly with those of your characters. You be you and let them be them. Do it for the sake of your own moral fiber. Rid yourself of the entitlement beast and the foolish notion there is a finish line to learning. That race goes on and on and on…

“Becoming a writer is about becoming conscious. When you're conscious and writing from a place of insight and simplicity and real caring about the truth, you have the ability to throw the lights on for your reader. He or she will recognize his or her life and truth in what you say, in the pictures you have painted, and this decreases the terrible sense of isolation that we have all had too much of.” ― Anne Lamott

Asking for Help

Again, not brain science. If we want to improve in any area of life it’s understood that it’s perfectly acceptable to ask for help. But I offer some warnings (some you can glean for yourself in the quote below). Be discerning. Not all writers are cut out to help you. Not all writers have the time. Not all writers know how to encourage and offer constructive criticism. Not all writers are as serious about the craft as you are. Hunt for a solid match.

“A group member should love reading and writing. She should be able to handle criticism of her work without becoming defensive or argumentative. Neither should she be so invested in what she says about another’s work that she takes offense if people don’t agree with her…A good writing group member should be generous…The most important thing a writing group member can do is offer consistently thoughtful comments about the other people’s work, things that let the writer know she has truly paid attention to what has been put before her. – Elizabeth Berg, Escaping into the Open: The Art of Writing True

Choosing Your Battles Carefully

Writing 101 lets us know conflict is a must. But as we advance in our writing skills we learn how to become selective and intentional about when and where to insert conflict into our work. Like everything…there is a time and place.

“Be careful that the scene adds something necessary to the story’s development: information, revelation, discovery, sudden change…Make that conflict rise, as all good conflict should. Don’t jump into it with people yelling, screaming, shooting, and having swords drawn.” –Elizabeth George, Write Away

Watching Your Words

One of my favorite pieces of writing advice is to be diligent about choosing the best words. One of my college professors also challenged me to be hard on myself as an editor. To this day I’m grateful he cared enough and he believed I’d listen.

My grasp of editing has evolved immensely from what I understood it to mean upon the completion of my first novel. Editing was a gentle sweep to the Shop-vac and Annie “Hard Knock Life” scrub down is today.

We must be intentional about weaving a story that has the inherent power to continue braiding in our reader’s minds and lives even after they close the book.

“Description begins in the writer’s imagination, but should finish in the reader’s.” ― Stephen King, On Writing

Which no-brainer requires the most brain power from you? Why do you think? (Or which quote is your favorite & why?)

*photo by flickr